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851-875 - Nothing I Say is Meant to Offend Unless You're a Moron [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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851-875 [Dec. 13th, 2006|05:08 pm]
851. When plumbing the depths of depravity, I must remember to come up for air.
852. Any superhero offensive to more than two major religions is vetoed.
853. Even if I'm faced with yet another Get of Fenris Lupus Ahroun, I will not refer to him as CliChe Guevara.
854. We will not take the dead dryad with us to use as kindling.
855. I will not keep reincarnating that bugbear until he comes back as something we can actually eat.
856. A funeral is not a proper place for setting new fashion trends.
857. I will not disbelieve the magic mouth before he gives out the important plot information.
858. Even if it is hours of entertainment, can't feed the Red Talon peanut butter.
859. I will concede we're on a dungeon crawl and stop trying to talk to the monsters.
860. Under religion I cannot put Born Again Klingon.
861. I will not use undocumented zombie workers to help build my castle.
862. Bigby's Offensive Finger is not a real spell.
863. Even if there is no alignment in Traveller, giving feuding TL1 tribes TL12 weapons and putting the results on PPV is just wrong.
864. My doctor's bag will contain more than just a bonesaw and a bottle of whiskey.
865. I do not put the cad in decadent, nor the rave in depraved.
866. Even if it's catchy, I don't have to yell my battlecry everytime I roll to attack.
867. We all play bards just to relive our favorite Spinal Tap moments.
868. I cannot have a gun with an area of affect larger than it's range.
869. Richard Simmons is not an appropriate role model for a Get of Fenris.
870. I will not use my vast personal knowledge of Dublin, Texas to get an unfair advantage in the campaign.
871. My halfling cannot take the flaw Obsession: Ring of Invisibility.
872. Any gun that sets off the metal detector before I even pass through it is vetoed.
873. I will not combine Thermographic Sights and a gun that can shoot through walls. It makes Black Ops too easy.
874. After cleaning out Ravenloft, when it's my turn to pick treasure, can't call dibs on the castle.
875. If my superhero has a healing factor, claws, combat sense and longevity, he can't take the flaw Total Pacifist.

[User Picture]From: hyperspace
2006-12-14 02:34 am (UTC)
One of my characters ran into the 859 problem all the time.

"No, we can't attack those orcs! We haven't asked them for their perspective on the conflict yet."
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2006-12-14 02:38 am (UTC)
A twelve year old DM for the first time gaming made my list. Me and this other guy with stock fighters just rolling to hit and damage for an hour. And asking strange questions and doing things the book didn't account for like popping hinges, setting ambushes, hell, talking to the orc. After about an hour his father took his DMG away and gave it to me telling the kid watch and learn. Then my game group showed up so had to pass.
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[User Picture]From: xer0rules
2006-12-14 01:00 pm (UTC)
873: Why not? It's a legit tactic, I'd do it if I could. In fact.... for my next Spycraft game....
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