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TheGlen

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951-975 [Feb. 16th, 2007|12:11 am]
TheGlen
951. The most important stat in Call of Cthulhu is not movement.
952. Keifer Sutherland does not make numerous cameos in my character's background telling him he's destined for greatness.
953. No matter how high my strength, still can't use that wall as a shield.
954. I will not convince the entire party to play identical copies of the same character on the grounds we're sextuplets.
955. No matter his age, my bard can't start a boy-band.
956. Despite the halberd being 6' long, it can't hit monsters more than 5' away.
957. Even if it's been more than two hours since we left the bar, the dwarf isn't getting the DT's.
958. No matter how practical, I can't have shotgunchucks.
959. The town drunk is not our one stop source for all mythos happenings in every town.
960. I will not base my Call of Cthulhu character off the lead character in Slingblade.
961. Even if I am pissed for working on my birthday, in the middle of a Black Ops I will not refer to my CO only by his first name.
963. After critting with a cannon, we can't dump a barrel of gunpowder over the gunner's mate.
964. Elves aren't marsupials.
965. Even if we're freezing to death, I won't cut open the half-orc and shove the elf inside him.
966. Using precog on the personals to find out who puts out on a first date is abusing the power.
967. There is no such thing as a Tequila Golem.
968. A paladin with a British accent is acceptable. One with a Peter Lorre accent isn't.
969. When I'm allowed a bunny as a familiar, that doesn't include Ava Fabian.
970. I will not make a super hero that requires a graphing calculator to create.
971. I cannot take the flaw Enemy: Random packs of wild dogs.
972. "Threesome" is not a specialty of the seduction skill.
973. Shotguns are not a traditional part of Texas funerals.
974. If short changed at the Hong Kong deli I will call the manager. Not roll for initiative.
975. There is something wrong with a 2nd level Kamikaze.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: selenite
2007-02-17 03:20 am (UTC)
Okay, some of those got me laughing out loud :)
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[User Picture]From: acheronia
2007-02-17 03:57 am (UTC)
How about Vodka Elementals?
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[User Picture]From: triplemare
2007-02-17 05:11 am (UTC)
973. Shotguns are not a traditional part of Texas funerals.

I don't know. It really does depend on just how far into the East Tx Piney Hills you've gotten. You know, the kind of place where "he's got his own teeth" qualifies as a reason to date.
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[User Picture]From: risingshadow
2007-02-17 05:12 pm (UTC)
I'd like to point out that making a COC character after any Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 or Army of Darkness actor is also not suggested, though very fun to play.
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2007-02-17 05:24 pm (UTC)
I was making the character and thought, wouldn't a stereotypical redneck be perfect? He's violent and can't read!

/Billy Bob Thornton Voice/
Mmm-Hmm...found this book...couldn't read it...looked evil...so I burned it...
Mmm-Hmm...you trying to summon some evil demon from hell?...Mmm-Hmm...guess I'm gonna have to kill you...

/End Billy Bob Thornton Voice/
PERFECT! GM said no...
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[User Picture]From: nightfalke
2007-02-17 07:51 pm (UTC)
968. A paladin with a British accent is acceptable. One with a Peter Lorre accent isn't.

Just finished watching Maltese Falcon again, and I am dissapointed in your GM's lack of class and sophistication.

I just hope you didn't name your Pally "Joel Cairo".
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[User Picture]From: j_random_mutt
2007-02-18 08:31 pm (UTC)
974. If short changed at the Hong Kong deli I will call the manager. Not roll for initiative.

... seen far worse. One of my players needs to learn not to demolish every building in five blocks of the bar because someone spilt his drink.
... mind you, I'm the one whose character levelled a tower block because someone pointed a tank at him.
Anti Tank Railguns plus Drunk People equals Big Mess.
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[User Picture]From: salkryn
2007-03-03 10:35 pm (UTC)
A suggestion for rule number 976: My knight cannot be quixotic good.
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