Nothing I Say is Meant to Offend Unless You're a Moron

Now go burn down Parliament

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:05:37 GMT

Happy Guy Fawkes Day everybody. Go watch V for Vendetta and your politicians they need to be afraid of you, not the other way around.

Suffering for my art

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:20:58 GMT

Ever try to fit five Crimean War references in one comic strip about a Halloween party? Ain't easy.

It's called humor

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:11:29 GMT

Was working on a storyline for DE in which one of the plot points has Blackbeard luring out a killer leprechaun by trying to find a rainbow. His solution is to stage an impromptu pride parade. This does lure out the killer faerie, but due to Blackbeard's shortsightedness his plan never never planned past 'Step 1'. So the Leprechaun just starts shredding the parade until under pressure they implement Plan A (just shoot him). They started with Plan B because Plan A never works.

And I get accused of homophobia and gay bashing. Take out the gays, put in boy scouts, Tibetan monks, Vandal raiders, or the entire population of Wichita, Kansas and you have the exact same joke. No where does the word 'gay' even appear in the comic. It never shows any part of the parade (though the joke does mention in passing there's only five people in the parade). Some people wear that chip on their shoulder a little too loosely.

We also used the Leprechaun storyline to suggest the hero's house is equal parts Tardis and Winchester Mansion.

What the hell dude?

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:17:47 GMT

What's up the lightsabers? You've given no apparent thought to who's got what color, you have Washington with a red lightsaber. Washington was the rebel, he gets the green lightsaber. Britain was the Empire, they get red lightsabers.

Watching the Crow on Halloween

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:42:52 GMT

Miss ya Brandon, you could have been mythic, instead of just legendary.

Dying's Easy is live

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:21:49 GMT

http://dyingseasy.com/current.html

This is a test run for the comic, just the very initial cartoon. And yes, that's not the final art for Winona. But this the basic style. Still looking at a January launch.

Hate it when this happens

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:00:32 GMT

Researching comic, found out Pat Hingle died several months ago. Crap.

Suffering for my art

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 01:17:21 GMT

I've had to watch 3 Uwe Boll movies to research Dying's Easy. You guys had better appreciate this. Those damned shadow monsters are hard to find pics for. And nobody can tell me if those chicks were Cirque Du Soleil Amazon Lesbian Hippies or Cirque Du Soleil Hippie Amazon Lesbians.

And happy birthday Winona, we tried to get your character sketched up for your birthday but real life interfered.

And more research

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 01:02:41 GMT

Doing the Halloween episode for Dying's Easy. In which our intrepid heroes invite all their friends over for a Halloween party and proceed to accidentally slaughter a whole mess of masked serial killers. Problem is, I need masked serial killers.

This is who I got (Jason's been done previously in Story #4)
Michael Myers (Halloween)
Miner (My Bloody Valentine)
~~Edvard Munch~~ Scream Killer (Scream)
Dollface/Man in Mask/Pin-Up Girl (Strangers)
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

That's seven, need 3 more.

The answer is...nobody has a clue

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:11:16 GMT

Doing research for the webcomic, mainly how tall were the various characters in real life.

Uwe Boll 5'8
Rob Zombie 5'11
Ted Nugent 5'11
Audie Murphy 5'5
Winona Ryder 5'4
Miyamoto Musashi 6'1. YES SIX FOOT 1 INCH. Multiple confirmations.
Simo Hayha 5'0
Ron Hextall 6'1
Blackbeard 6'2-6'6 (no accurate size, just tons of speculation, but we're going with 6'6, the man is a legend, that makes him taller)

Then I get to the Mad Monk Rasputin. 5'4-6'6. Nobody has a clue, I got multiple sites quoting a variety of heights, either the man was a midget or a giant, nobody seems to be clear on the subject. Even Russian government sites contradict themselves. Blackbeard's height difference was 4", Rasputin has a 14" disparity? The guy was alive in the age of photography and we can't figure out how tall he actually was?

Unhappiness is...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:07:40 GMT

Finding your freezer door cracked and all your ice cream melted.

Geek test

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:34:03 GMT

Somebody with a D&D 1st Ed MM, what's the entries before and after Griffon? Doing some research for webcomic.

Changing as I write

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:20:03 GMT

The new Audie Murphy, re-aged from his previous drawing. Problem with Murphy is he's really a very average looking man, no real outstanding features. This picture is based off Hunter Pence to make him look like a teenager. Couldn't find a pic of Murphy when he won his medals.

I've got 6 months of storylines written up and sent off. Two and half years worth are sketched up and being fleshed out. Had to make changes due to other joke arcs being funnier than the first idea. Had the concept of Winona being a Highlander-style immortal killing other youthful celebrities, but wasn't enough material to keep it fresh. Instead Blackbeard gained an unhealthy interest in proving she's a supernatural creature. Of course Blackbeard's suspicions are frequently baseless, contradictory and have nothing in common with Winona.

Ron Hextall has gained the behavior of a a feral cat that's adopted the heroes. He lives in their woods, having gone native after retiring from NHL. Musashi became a loving father with a fondness of foreclosing and evicting people on weekends. Nugent is still Nugent, though he's become a plot device as the heroes trick him several times into killing what's bothering them by putting up notices of new hunting seasons open. Like paparazzi season, no bag limit. More as it evolves.

Here we go again...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:27:45 GMT

Obama's fighting with Fox news. What did Franklin say about picking a fight with somebody that buys his ink by the barrel again?

Rasputin & Blackbeard 2nd version

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:45:37 GMT

Minor tweaks, Rasputin got a hat. Audie's up next, we're basing him slightly off Astro's RF Hunter Pence, they both have that eternal youth look. Then Winona and the Nuge. Nuge we had to decide short hair Nuge or long hair Nuge. We've decided the only way to honor Steady Teddy Nugent, the Right Wing Rocker, The Motor City Madman, Captain Gonzo and the Whackmaster was definately long haired Ted.

Winona we decided to make our Straight man in the series, and had to pick between short hair Winona, or shorter hair Winona. With twelve story lines written so far she's the only major character hero not to have killed anyone. Or vast swathes of people in the case of, well, everybody else.

Concept Art for Dying's Easy

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:27:27 GMT

These are first drafts, just the three primary characters:

Audie's going to be aged down to about 17, give him a combination of youth and large caliber fire arms. Because those always work great in tandem.

Update on Dying's Easy

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:19:15 GMT

Since the comic is about paranormal investigators, we're going to have the first intro comic on Halloween. The full comic launches 1/1/10. I'll have some concept art up soon.

Slanted journalism? Nah...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:44:13 GMT

So flipping through the paper and there was a story on 'State Mandated Anti-Blasphemy Laws'. Ok, curious. The picture attached was of a County Attorney from Arkansas in a flap about the 10 Commandments. The story attached talked about Obama and the UN trying to ban Blasphemy laws in nations around the world. Well, Muslim nations. There are no non-muslim nations with Blasphemy laws it turns out. The picture with the attorney? Never gets mentioned in the story. Not once, it never even brings up anything about religion and laws in the US. But they ran a pic of a Southerner in a religions spat on a news story about Islamic laws people don't like. There's a reason print media is failing.

Stole this from Rollick

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:34:25 GMT

DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING AND WATCH THIS.

Sad these guys spent maybe 1/1,000,000 of the budget of the movie and made a better show.

WW2 heroes and Roller Derby

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:51:48 GMT

One of the reoccurring stories in Dying's Easy is Audie is on a roller derby team that you seldom see in action. Due to popular demand by the artist and several contributors, I was asked to expand them and include them in some stories. So I'm moving some stories around and expanding their role. They won't be major characters, but they've earned part time status in the strip.

Murphy

Simo Hayha: The Finnish sniper, already a major character, included to make the expansion not as much.

'Mad' Jack Churchill: British bad ass, more confirmed Claymore sword kills in WW2 than any other man. Due to his legend and the fact good pictures of him aren't easy to find, he's done way larger than life and doesn't actually completely fit into the frames he's in.

Chesty Puller: Patron Saint of the Marine Corps, bulldog of a man, looks like Arnie in the comic and apparently is immune to small arms fire, though they do sting a bit and piss him off big time.

Ronald Spiers: The crazy brave Lt from Band of Brothers. Shown in proportion but always with his face partially obscured, usually from his helmet pulled down. Likes to ask people if they want a cigarette. He's called an ambiguous bad ass, nobody's really sure if he's a total bad ass, but everybody's too frightened of him to try and find out.

Audrey Hepburn: Yes, Audrey Hepburn. Her biography states during her time with the Dutch Resistance she killed almost 4 dozen nazis, all through planting bombs. Germans would ogle, she'd walk in, leave the bomb, walk out. She's in full Breakfast at Tiffany Mode, bad guy does the hearts in eyes look where she then proceed to rack them/sucker punch/twist neck completely backwards.

Currently trying to put together a story line combining the movies Dirty Dozen, Victory and the Sound of Music.

Should have promo comic end of the week or next week. Slotted start up is January.

Jotting down stuff

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:39:06 GMT

Been working on Dying's Easy more and more, hope to have the first comic up for sample in a few weeks, we are looking at a New Year release, the website is already bought (Dyingseasy.com, though nothing is up right now). Got two and a half years worth of comics written, which is just over a hundred doing two a week, though we may jump that to three a week.

Little bit more details on the various characters:

Rasputin is the rational one of the lot, though he's also a death prone sex addict. He kills monsters mainly through Deus Ex Machina, though when he's pissed all bets are off. He tends to date women a dozen at a time, and has a secret weakness for roller coasters. He's apparently the only one that knows how to operate their phone system. He's also an Russian Orthodox Priest, but nobody believes him when he mentions it.

Blackbeard is the brawn of the group, he's also lazy and feeling a little out of style since smokeless cannon fuses in his beard just don't have the same effect. He prefers the most direct approach when in the field. He also is the only one with a college degree and was Newark Independent School District Substitute Teacher of the Year for 8 years running. He is currently building a Spanish Galleon in their living room.

Audie (or just Murph) loves his job more than anybody else. Whether it's because he likes doing good deeds or just an excuse to fire random big guns is anybody's guess. He has a running feud with both NAMBLA and the Neo-Nazi party, which is how he met his girlfriend. His attitude towards life is filled with childlike wonder, assuming a child dreamed of shooting monsters with a Gatling bazooka.

Uwe Boll is a reoccuring villain in the series, having cut a deal with the forces of darkness to get power over A-list Hollywood celebrities. The Hunters and Boll have several battles, especially over Audie's girlfriend.

Winona Ryder is Audie's steady girlfriend. She fell in love with him after he finished his court ordered Community Service. Audie felt wiping out the American Nazi party was doing the community a service. Winona is supportive, understanding and apparently can't be killed unless you take her head from her shoulders. She is protected by the trio from Boll who wants her soul for his movies.

Simo Hayha (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_H%C3%A4yh%C3%A4) is Audie's best friend. The Finnish war veteran is a champion zombie hunter, cell phone pioneer, and the Patron Saint of Head Shots. He has a running friendly feud with Ted Nugent over the best hunting technique, and habitually shoots Russians in the head due to reflex.

Ron Hextall (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Hextall) is a friend of the trio after they cleared him of the Camp Crystal Lake murders. After his days in the NHL Hextall has gone feral, and doesn't seem capable of meaningful speech.

Rob Zombie makes several cameos in the strip, he's secretly living in Audie's closet.

Miyamoto Musashi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miyamoto_Musashi) is Rasputin's best friend. Rather than just refusing to die like the trio, Musashi apparently is such a good swordsman Death can't beat him in a fight. Even while he's asleep. He has a daughter Suki, and is currently a banker. He never takes his Samurai helmet off. Then again, neither does his daughter.

Ted Nugent owns a hunting reserve behind the trio, he brings in mind blowing horrors to hunt down. He's a crappy neighbor that they tolerate because he's a really good cook and invites them over for BBQ. Just don't ask what the meat is.

Remind me again who's supposed to be first up against the wall?

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:10:41 GMT

Watching CNN about the Rush Limbaugh slavery quote controversy. The reporter had discovered the quote was fabricated by one of the people that hate Limbaugh, the guy that did it posted the quote on WIKIPEDIA and then alerted everybody that Limbaugh had said horrible things about MLK and James Earl Ray and other horrific stuff. Only Rush didn't say it, and major news organizations went with stories they got off a public database anybody could edit.

After the hoax was exposed as such, the CNN anchor then announced that even though the statements weren't true, the controversy over them would hurt Limbaugh in the long run. Huh? You think the people hurt by this would be the ones that ran with a fabricated story that a high school reporter would have enough sense to avoid. Seriously, who uses Wikipedia as a source? Especially in a controversial subject.

Dying's Easy

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:40:45 GMT

Found an artist for Dying's Easy webcomic, we're writing up the first three months, then deciding where to go. It's dark humor comic strip starring Rasputin, Blackbeard and Audie Murphy as a team of professional paranormal investigators. They track down various monsters from Hollywood and legend and professionally kill them rather brutally. The comic costars Winona Ryder, Ron Hextall, Simo Hayha, Ted Nugent, Rob Zombie, and the 2007 Playboy Playmates as some of the people they encounter during their adventures. Trying hard to keep it PG-13, should have something up soon as a test run.

In Bizzaro world

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 02:26:54 GMT

Ann Coulter's defending Charlie Rangel, while Al Sharpton is screaming for his head on the news. Is today opposite day?

Suffering for my art

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 03:17:32 GMT

Needed some art for a game, needed it in a very specific style. Friend from way-back specializes in Retro 40's style art, and he's one of the tops in his field. He does this art for some magazines. When he got a price quote back for Bomber nose art for Decurion, he wanted $400. He's worth it, and extremely in demand due to his specialty. Don't know if I can do $400 for a book cover right now.