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Nothing I Say is Meant to Offend Unless You're a Moron [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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1076-1100 [May. 6th, 2008|07:14 pm]
The List Continuation

1076. When told to dress like a Goth I will make sure with no uncertainty whether they mean black clothes and eyeliner or chainmail and shield.
1077. There is no such thing as a weresaxophonist.
1078. If 48 straight hours of pistol whipping doesn’t convince the terrorist to spill his guts, another 48 hours probably won’t either.
1079. A tattoo gun is not standard equipment in a mapping kit.
1080. The Cryokinetic is forever banned from water balloon fights.
1081. Even if the rules allow it, my sumo wrestler can’t take super human attractiveness.
1082. There is no such thing as a brothel crawl.
1083. My IRSAn will not use his powers to help fill out wikipedia articles.
1084. My sumo wrestler can’t have lap band surgery without affecting his martial arts skills.
1085. “Everybody Wang Chung tonight” is not an acceptable use of the Mass Suggestion spell.
1086. Tornadoes don’t have hit points.
1087. Even if I take twice as long, that doesn’t mean I can take 40.
1088. I cannot try and throw large blunt objects at malkavians, kobolds or kender. Or their players.
1089. Even if the game is a crappy rip-off of World of Warcraft, my character can’t speak in Leet.
1090. Even if I roll a natural 20, I can’t jump the grand cannon on a stock steam roller.
1091. In the middle of a Black Ops, if a character dies I will not disavow knowledge of him until after the mission is over.
1092. If the battle goes for 20 rounds, we don’t have to stop and wait for the zamboni guy to clean up the battlefield.
1093. I will not tell the rookies they can roll down their Y-Wing’s windows.
1094. My wizard does not need to shout out the name of what he’s summoning every time he picks a creature.
1095. Anything short of adamantine full plate is not considered light armor for dwarves.
1096. In the middle of a Black Ops I can’t start a major Corpwar just because I’m bored stiff with the current run.
1097. Even if he used INT as a dump stat, I don’t have to carve ‘this end towards enemy’ on the barbarian’s axe blade.
1098. If I’m in an assault mech, bump drafting is discouraged.
1099. After a successful Black Ops, before I’m paid I will not immediately adopt a dozen children for the tax breaks.
1100. I cannot wish that someone else was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

[User Picture]From: count_01
2008-05-07 12:38 am (UTC)
How can we be sure of #1078 unless we try it?
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[User Picture]From: gryphoness
2008-05-07 01:19 am (UTC)
and you didn't mention the one I forbade you to do ever again.
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2008-05-07 01:22 am (UTC)
Think that was last batch.
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[User Picture]From: gryphoness
2008-05-07 03:37 am (UTC)
nope, not a 7th Sea among them.
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[User Picture]From: tygerr
2008-05-07 01:22 pm (UTC)
I always thought the battlefield clean-up was done by a zombini. No?
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[User Picture]From: becky_kitty
2008-05-08 07:17 pm (UTC)
1076 made the tea I was drinking snort out my nose. Thanks for remembering the Visi's!
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