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1351-1375 - Nothing I Say is Meant to Offend Unless You're a Moron [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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1351-1375 [Jun. 8th, 2009|08:52 pm]
1351. Guardian mode is not just for flipping people the bird in the middle of battle.
1352. Even if we are issued a nuke, I'm not allowed to touch it.
1353. I will stop trying to get a reality TV show for our Black Ops team.
1354. We are not going to stall 10,000 Uruk-Hai with a fake tollbooth.
1355. Pointing out the massive plothole in the villain's plan is not going to stop her from attacking.
1356. Before we start, let's make sure whether everybody blows up if I shoot a shield with a lasgun.
1357. Preliminary saturation carpet bombing is not automatically Plan A.
1358. Even if I only get to swing a sword once per minute, I can't stop to smoke between attacks.
1359. I can't call my gun by a stupid nickname, even if it's the one that the game suggested.
1360. Woodchippers, while useful, aren't normal gear for a Black Ops.
1361. I will not tell the new players gelatinous cubes come in a variety of yummy flavors.
1362. The cleric is not tax exempt.
1363. No matter how much fun, we are not retrofitting a tank with jumpjets.
1364. I cannot mint my own currency.
1365. Just because the make a miniature with that ability, doesn't mean I can take that ability.
1366. I will not use the mass suggestion spell to make the elf babes to make out.
1367. Gnomes are not nature's tripods.
1368. Dwarves do not groom themselves like cats. Or baboons.
1369. Elves do to have nipples.
1370. Halflings are not used as currency.
1371. "Biggio leans into pitch" is not a real kung fu maneuver.
1372. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot have a monofilament sledgehammer.
1373. If we can't fit the droid in the freighter, I can't play him.
1374. No matter I well I make the animal handling roll, I can't break in a Juggernaught of Khorne.
1375. Setting Jawas on fire with a magnifying glass is an automatic dark side point.

[User Picture]From: regalpewter
2009-06-09 02:29 am (UTC)
1373 so true, even under Traveller rules.
1355 If they are monlouging you should be taking them out....

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[User Picture]From: bigkittywolf
2009-06-09 12:58 pm (UTC)
1375. I don't see why... If you're not Force Sensitive, why should it matter?
1354. I would allow that just for the reference! ^.^
1361. There was a supplement that discussed D&D connoisseur tactics... what was good to eat, safe to eat, and really shouldn't be eaten. Cubes could be eaten if cooked right!
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[User Picture]From: gryphoness
2009-06-10 12:09 am (UTC)
1369. I didn't really need to know that.
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[User Picture]From: otherles
2009-06-11 11:21 am (UTC)
I've found that using a glowing-hot false grail in the Monty Python and the Holy Grail adventure for Dungeons and Dragons did not score me any popularity points as a dungeon master.
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[User Picture]From: otherles
2009-06-11 11:23 am (UTC)
1352. "Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!"
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[User Picture]From: otherles
2009-06-11 11:24 am (UTC)
1357. And singing "Eight Miles High" when you're doing saturation bombing is right out.
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[User Picture]From: berylsaccharine
2009-06-12 03:38 am (UTC)
1354. We are not going to stall 10,000 Uruk-Hai with a fake tollbooth.

Will they need a Sh*t load of dimes for it?

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From: daniel_ream4
2009-06-22 05:08 am (UTC)

Bah. The Dark Side points rules are for nancy-pansies anyway. By strict WEG RAW, Obi-Wan was 75% in the Dark Side bag by the time he died, and Luke turns into a raving nutter Sith Lord about twenty minutes into Episode VI. Seriously, watch his eyes after he swings on to that sail barge and try to tell me Vader's the bad guy.
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