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2401-2425 - Nothing I Say is Meant to Offend Unless You're a Moron [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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2401-2425 [Jun. 22nd, 2016|09:19 pm]
2401. Just because there are no rules for the bec de corbin, doesn't mean they don't exist.
2402. No starting wars over the what's the best pole arm.
2403. Can't give a shout out in a ransom note.
2404. I can't bet Grazz't my soul in a showdown over a golden oboe.
2405. Cleaning out all eleven of the Caves of Chaos in a single night is not what they mean by a dungeon crawl.
2406. I can't save money on identify spells by just having random peasants do a blind taste test on these potions I found.
2407. I can't save points on learning a new language by just learning only the profanity.
2408. The advantage "Friends in High Places" cannot be represented by Johnny Walker Blue.
2409. My wish cannot include the words "and, additional, furthermore" or any synonyms thereof.
2410. Our posse can't resemble an 80's British glam band without an explanation.
2411. The most dangerous weapon is not an Upeo Wa Macho and her construction equipment.
2412. Yes, they are the perfect solution to all our deep one problems. No we can't have depth charges.
2413. The barbarian can still berserk even if he hasn't had his morning coffee.
2414. Offering to buy the hostage I just rescued a new arm is not sufficient enough of an apology.
2415. Vargyr do not have the flaw Ancestral Enemy: United States Postal Service.
2416. No convincing Rahasia he's just not that worth it.
2417. Bargle the Infamous is not under a "Protection from Continuity" spell.
2418. If the quest is to retrieve a magical genie bottle, no shaking it up before handing it back over.
2419. I am required to tell the DM if the secret villain of the adventure is revealed on the back synopsis of the module screen.
2420. You can't teach a parrot Power Word Kill.
2421. There is no danger from explosive decompression in teleporting a duergar directly to the surface.
2422. You better believe wearing a mu-mu to the coronation gets you searched for halflings.
2423. If the party is black tie only, that doesn't mean just painted on the power armor.
2424. Even if she is a soul sucking creature of unholy darkness, the cleric can't turn my ex-wife.
2425. My necromancer is not in charge of inhuman resources.

[User Picture]From: vaeldriil
2016-06-24 12:10 am (UTC)
It makes my day to see updates to this. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bald_ruminant
2016-06-24 02:15 am (UTC)

Re: #2425

No, but the necromancer is in charge of exhuming resources.
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From: jimfromtx
2016-06-24 11:17 am (UTC)
Considering some people, you'd think it would be easier to berserk before morning coffee. Some people are dangerous before they've had their coffee o_O
(Reply) (Thread)
From: eremiticcoyote
2016-07-25 06:23 am (UTC)


A few to add from my experiences:

I am no longer allowed to play a necrophile necromancer.

I am most definitely no longer allowed to insist that skeletal entities of any kind can "handle one more bone."
(Reply) (Thread)