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TheGlen

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2476-2500 [Dec. 4th, 2017|01:58 pm]
TheGlen
I haven't posted to the list in almost 10 months, but haven't had time to play much.  Took a while to get this much, hopefully I can get out more.  But I'm up to 2500 officially now!

2476.  Nobody else appreciates the irony of drowning someone in a bucket of potions of waterbreathing.
2477.  Can't waterboard a triton with just a dry towel.
2478.  Viking rites of succession typically don't have a swimsuit segment.
2479.  The can't be said about viking beauty pageants and their trial by combat segment.
2480.  No convincing the party to play characters that combined requires 15,000,000 xp before one of us reaches 1st level.
2481.  Kirk Fu is not a real martial art.
2482.  There is no heart genasi, so we're going to have to find another way to defeat Juiblex.
2483.  In the middle of a black ops can't call the target's tech support to get help breaking into their computer network.
2484.  "Humor me" is not an acceptable targeting parameter on the robotic sentry guns.
2485.  I will not cause the GM to break down because his new game is seriously flawed and unplayable until after character generation.
2486.  The sergeant's inquiry on why I need 10 rolls of duct tape for the black ops was not a rhetorical question.
2487.  There is no bag limit on orcs.
2488.  My untouchable Rogue Trader will stop getting cheap thrills by sneaking up on the astropath.
2489.  It is not a race to strip mine the planet.
2490.  No, the module is not fooling itself thinking I'm just going to let the battleship power up and sail into deep space.
2491.  No abusing the falling rules in the 5th edition to achieve faster than light travel in just six seconds.
2492.  There is no place on the ship's bridge for my DJ booth.
2493.  No using repulsors to turn the villain into a beach ball for my crew to enjoy while I give my victory speech.
2494.  Gaining weapon mastery in the whip and earning a venomous snake as my animal companion are mutually exclusive achievements.
2495. No using the teleportarium on the hive city to guarantee my ship's rave isn't a bust.
2496. I will not spend profit factor to acquire any major league sports franchise.
2497. Making a hat out of a bear's head is okay. A drow's head not so much.
2498. Detect cliche 15' radius is not a real spell.
2499. No matter what the rules say, I can't catch an episode of Night Court between macrocannon shots.
2500. Any argument with my ex will be done verbally in person. Not across the battlefield in semaphore.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: selenite
2017-12-04 08:44 pm (UTC)
Re: 2500. Have you ever read the "Get Medieval" webcomic? Humans from outer space land on Earth around 1300, are scattered. One couple meets up again. He winds up besieging the castle of the Duke she married.
"Does the King know you're waging war just to get at your ex?"
"Yes. On this planet, nobody pretends politics and sex aren't connected."
"I figured you'd like it here."

Said conversation happened with her up on the battlements of the besieged castle.
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2017-12-04 09:33 pm (UTC)
Have not heard of that one, this was me trying to play the INT18 fighter I made a joke about Gandalf being. Of course I had to give him a messed up background including an ex wife that was in a hate/love relationship. BECMI system, and they had a spat in the middle of the battlefield while the opposing armies had it out in the middle. I did like the INT18 fighter, wish 5th edition actually made playing high intelligence martial characters worth it.
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[User Picture]From: vaeldriil
2018-01-31 04:05 am (UTC)
These still make my day, every time.
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From: jimfromtx
2018-02-04 10:49 am (UTC)
Wow, how did I manage to go 2 months without seeing this? Glad I checked, this batch is great as usual. And congrats on #2500! Has your GM given you the therapy bill yet? Certainly after #2485.
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[User Picture]From: turbobeholder
2018-08-20 10:38 am (UTC)

Typo?

2479. The can't be said about viking beauty pageants and their trial by combat segment.
Something is missing.



2495. No using the teleportarium on the hive city to guarantee my ship's rave isn't a bust.
How that happened? But also, aren't void shields fairly common defences on hive cities?
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