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Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG 501-1000 [Nov. 28th, 2006|09:36 pm]

To keep the list a bit more readable, split it in half. Here's 501-1000
501-975Collapse )

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[User Picture]From: phaet
2006-12-28 12:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, these are painfully funny. Would you mind if I put some of them onto icons?
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2006-12-28 03:13 pm (UTC)
Are we talking internet ID tags or Greek Orthodox?
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[User Picture]From: quintos
2006-12-30 03:58 am (UTC)
I am in love with this list.
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[User Picture]From: blackjackrocket
2007-01-07 06:05 am (UTC)
Hilarious. But I think you messed up one of them

817. Can challenge anyone to a dance off. To the death.

I'm assuming you mean "can't".
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From: mthoopla
2007-01-13 05:56 am (UTC)
I hope to God that it's "can". Put on some happy hardcore and dance someone in to a heart attack, stroke, somthing.
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[User Picture]From: alexi_strigoii
2007-01-15 01:02 am (UTC)
926. I will not make a biological weapon by filling my bag of holding with Cockatri or any other monster with similar powers...
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[User Picture]From: cloakable
2007-01-15 04:33 pm (UTC)
690. Mordenkainen's Dysfunctional Family is not a real spell.
862. Bigby's Offensive Finger is not a real spell.

I'm loving this :)

I would love to know the circumstances behind these spells :P
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2007-01-15 11:31 pm (UTC)
Bigby's was my wizard telling off one of the party members. So he emphasized his point with casting Bigby's Offensive Fingers. Which is basically a large pair of hands doing a double barrelled flip off. Got told no.

Mord's was several party members supposed to be brothers. They spent the entire campaign arguing with each other. So I asked who cast Mord's Dysfunctional Family. They took the joke way too far.
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[User Picture]From: fabricati
2007-01-22 03:03 am (UTC)

And three more I thought of, while reading this list.

-Not allowed to name the party of rockboys "The League of Extraordinary Musicians.
-For that matter, not allowed to have a party of rockboys, period.
-Not allowed to crash dates of canon characters just to introduce myself. Not even if Spider-Man did it.
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From: jimfromtx
2009-06-17 08:10 am (UTC)
Actually, it's a Rocky Horror Picture Show reference, specifically some of the lyrics in "Time Warp"
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[User Picture]From: ausrpger
2007-02-02 01:31 am (UTC)

Amish cyberpunks

Quite a number of interesting items, my favourite being:

521. I will not convince the entire party to play Amish for the cyberpunk campaign.

I think this would be quite fun, playing an Amish character in a cyberpunk campaign.

It should be quite doable in a Shadowrun campaign. Have a mage or Shaman that is Amish, they already shun technology to some extent. Or in a Cyberpunk 2020 campaign have an Amish Solo. A long bearded man, in a big overcoat, with little to no cyberwear.

You just need to update being Amish a little. The Ordnung, the set of rules observed by the Amish, varies between communities and changes over time. Some Amish communities shun technology, others accept it for limited use.

(From Things not to do in an rpg...)
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From: freiperry
2010-03-24 07:45 am (UTC)

Re: Amish cyberpunks

YEah you'r right cyberpunk campaign was cool.
yeah i miss the long bearded man wearing a overcoat.

thanks for reminding.
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[User Picture]From: bibliophile20
2007-02-06 05:40 am (UTC)
>Despite what the rules say, I can't trick insect spirits into juggling bug bombs.

>No matter how well I roll, a troll will never fit through an air duct.

>No trying to hire Mr. Johnson when he's hiring you.

>On second thought, a Chaos mage with the trickster mentor spirit is a bad idea.
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[User Picture]From: pretzel_boy
2007-02-26 06:03 am (UTC)
953. No matter how high my strength, still can't use that wall as a shield.

I'd love to know which game this was in, and the circumstances that led to it.

958. No matter how practical, I can't have shotgunchucks.

Next on the list to try: Chainsawchucks

And I nearly choked on my drink when I read #975.
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[User Picture]From: rayne_sylvan
2007-03-09 08:41 am (UTC)
You, sir, are a god among men.
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[User Picture]From: fingolfin_aeros
2007-03-29 01:46 pm (UTC)
You rock. Hardcore.

I'm printing the lists as covers for my RPG binders.
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From: jestador
2007-04-08 10:58 pm (UTC)

rather odd

970. I will not make a super hero that requires a graphing calculator to create. interested in how this came up would you ind explaining?
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[User Picture]From: theglen
2007-04-08 11:21 pm (UTC)

Re: rather odd

Paradox. GURPS Supers. A super with the duplication power, with the unique option of all or nothing for 7 dupes, all with individual personalities and memories. The game was super math intensive to begin with, but with that option it wasn't possible to create them without advanced mathmatics.
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From: kasumidoll
2007-04-15 04:04 am (UTC)
I'm dying to know how the "I am not allowed to pave anything" rule came about.. most of the rest are self-evident.
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From: heliomance
2007-05-03 04:39 pm (UTC)

You win the internet

This list had me crying with laughter, literally. Great work!
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